God is for me

I've been listening to You Are For Me by Kari Jobe. This is a concept God has been steadily teaching me for several years now. Through so much heartache and grief, He has shown Himself to be the same yesterday, today, and forever. That He is not only in control of everything but even more that no matter what the circumstances, He is for my GOOD. Maybe things are hard, painful, confusing, frustrating, even desperate. Still He is for my good. It took me sooo long to BEGIN to understand that God is good "all the time, and all the time God is good" Oooo, that's easy to say on Sunday morning in between great worship songs and we're all excited. It's not so easy to say when you're desperately lonely and scared about getting through the next 24hrs. 
I've started to understand that though I claimed I believed that God's character did not change, in actuality I measured His character by my circumstances. Sometimes unknowingly, sometimes purposefully. I say I've started to understand, because on the way to work today, and listening to You Are For Me, and thinking I believed it fully, I had a God moment.
See as I really started to "settle into rest", I became aware of my emotional and mental exhaustion. I said to God, "It's been really hard for so long. When will I start to feel the lifting of heaviness and and not feel like every day is a fight for survival?" It hit me hard. That realization that my trust and worship of God was, if I was being truly honest, based still on my circumstances. So I glimpsed for a moment into what I believe Paul was trying to say to us in Phillipians 4:11-13    "¹¹ I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. ¹² I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ¹³ I can do all this through him who gives me strength. "
To learn to really worship God for who he is, completely independent of my circumstances-be they good or difficult and in so doing to find true joy in the journey. I purpose to learn to find true joy in each day and not be hijacked by my feelings or what is going on at the time. This will be no small feat for me: Captain Control-freak, ADHD, OCD. But I purpose to learn to do so no matter how many times I stumble and fall on this path God has revealed. God is for me.